God bless Bobby Goepfert (p.s. he’s always like this. Give em a follow)
"For an all out Vampire battle in the 21st century, you would think the Revolutionary war battle formations would be outdated." I mean I think he should narrate every single movie from now on. He is the next Morgan Freeman.
You’re born with a ton of fucks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card. You give fucks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions. You give way too many fucks about way too many things. You have so many. Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 fucks per month, so you learn to budget them. You allocate fucks to family and career, but there aren’t enough fucks to give to the newest fads. Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title? I’ll do my best to allocate some fucks, but this month is pretty tight. Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 fucks per month, and those fucks are pretty damn precious. You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it. It’s not your fault – fucks expire too quickly. I would’ve liked to save my fucks from when I was younger but I can’t. Then, you hit fuck insolvency. You’re getting like 1 fuck a year, and you have to make it last. So you go without, and even previously fuck-worthy things, you just can’t give a fuck. Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a fuck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age. But at some point, the fuck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of fucks to give. It’s just basic Fuckonomics.
-Unknown English Teacher (via swarthyvillain)
I’ve never read anything more fucking true in my whole fucking life.
Well if this isn’t fucking meta…I don’t know what is.
i drove through 17 states on the way to work
i have been traveling in this desert for 49 years. generations have died. children have been born. when will i make it to the promised land
I haven't left a 20 mile radius in 2 years
It just won't end. Why won't it end. How far north do I have to go before I get to the south.
DO U EVER WANT A SPECIFIC PERSON TO JUST WAKE UP NAKED IN BED WITH U OUT OF NOWHERE
Shall I continue????
no bc i dont know any of those ppl